When I Think of You
by AkiyaRae
Summary: Suguru can't think, so he takes up thinking about how things came to be. oneshot possibility of more chapts depending on reviews


**Title: **When I Think Of You

**Author:** Niisans Pet

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gravitation in any way shape or form

**Warning:** Uh a little boy/boy, a secks scene if you squint

**A/N:** Written for Niisan and Christa but is open for all to enjoy. Possibility for a second chapter.

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Suguru Fujisaki looked at the time on his alarm clock for what must have been the millionth time that night. "03:17am" It said proudly from its resting place on his bedside table. Lids closed over chocolate brown eyes as their owner sighed in exasperation.

He couldn't believe it, he had gone to bed at a decent hour and still hadn't fallen asleep by the early hours of the morning. The worst part was that he felt physically sick, a tight unkindly feeling washed over his chest as he felt his stomach twist and turn. His head spun and what little vision he had was unfocused and distorted as tiny shooting pangs of pain darted in random areas on his head.

With yet another sigh the sixteen year olf keyboardist sat up, his pale fingers dancing to find the switch on his bedside table. The light quickly illuminated his immaculate bedroom. A body next to him shifted, he turned and looked at his boyfriend. Long blonde hair, saphire blue eyes and an American accent. Claude "K" Winchester was the epitome of protection and love for Suguru.

A smile graced the lips of the younger as he watched his band manager sleep. Something about how the other breathed had Suguru feeling like he was falling in love all over again. Or perhaps, a small voice piped up in the back of his mind, it was because the normally trigger-happy American was not pointing a gun at anyone. In fact the guns were surprisingly very rarely found inside the bedroom.

Suguru allowed his fingers to reach out and very softly trace his boyfriends cheek, stroking it absently. His thoughts swirled of how much he loved K, and how happy he had become since that day where he had finally confessed his love for the man that he had been taking side-glances at for what had seemed like an eternity...

_---_

_"Suguru what are you doing?!" Shouted Shuichi from across the street. The lights for the pedistrians had long since turned red and cars were beeping at the young keyboardist as he remained on the road. Brown eyes stared at the red car that stepped on its accelerator in impatience. Its driver had honestly thought that the kid would move out of his way, but he didn't._

_Said 'kid' was deep in thought, his head spun, the racing thoughts made him feel dizzy yet he remained rooted to the spot, unmoving. He had become so numb, he longed for that car to hit him, if only it meant he would feel something. His thoughts had spiralled out of control, thinking of how useless he was compared to his perfect cousin, and that no matter how hard he tried and wanted to do better he would always be second best. His thoughts had quickly changed to that of the person he longed to touch, to have and to hold._

_"K..." He had whispered just as the red vehicle slammed its front into Suguru's lithe body sending it flying to near the sidewalk. Hiroshi and Shuichi ran as fast as they could to their bandmate. For them it had all happened to very fast, unlike Suguru who felt the whole ordeal had happened rather slowly. _

_Needless to say K and Sakano were quick to show at the scene, arriving just as the ambulance's sirens came within earshot. A million questions were being fired in all directions within the small group surrounding the close to unconscious boy and it was getting them no where fast. By the time the ambulance had driven to their position and put Suguru on a stretcher it had finally been decided that K would be the one to accompany the keyboardist to the hospital while the others went in the car. _

_"What were you thinking?" K asked, his normal upfront brutality seemed to be missing as his voice was only laced with concern. He did, however, resist the urge to shoot the nurses within the vehicle when they told him not to speak until they had reached the hospital. Suguru just shook his head, not wanting to let K know that his thoughts had been for him. He had spiralled further down, he knew that his injuries would mean the delay of a gig, the delay of an album and several press conferences and public appearances. The keyboardist closed his eyes in defeat, how in the world did Tohma do this? Be perfect in every single way and not let everything get to him. _

_Several hours later aforementioned Tohma Seguchi entered the hospital. After politly yet sharply asking everyone within his cousins ward to leave he merely stood looking down at Suguru from near the door. The younger looked at his cousin before furtively looking away. Eye contact with his favoured family member was difficult right now, especially considering the other was not smiling at all. In fact, the normally placid blonde had a set frown on his beautiful boyish features._

_"Suguru, I am most disappointed in you." As soon as the words had left the presidents' mouth Suguru felt the sudden plunging feeling in his stomach openfire on his entire body. He wanted nothing more than a giant gaping hole to open up underneath the bed that held him and swallow him up in one fell swoop, hiding him within the innermost recesses of the earths confinement until the end of time. "I didn't think you would ever play with your life like that." Tohma admits out loud taking a few steps toward his cousins bed, sitting on it when he had reached it. "Please, tell me." He continued after a moments silence. "Your reasons why." Suguru knew that Tohma never spoke a needlless word, and since he knew exactly what his cousin wanted to know, he knew and Tohma knew that the president didn't have to explain the question further than the word "why"_

_At first Suguru's throat seemed to tense at even re-thinking the thoughts that had made him attempt suicide. Tohma had immediately recognised his cousins reluctance but waited patiently for the answer. Suguru closed his eyes trying to collect his buzzing thoughts. He was with Tohma, a man who he had looked up to, idolised and respected his entire life. If there was anyone to spill the beans to, it was him._

_"K." Suguru's voice cracked, he cleared his throat and tried again. "I was thinking about K." Tohma nodded and smiled a very small yet somewhat genuine smile. _

_"He is your love interest, isnt he?" Suguru simply nodded. Of course Tohma knew, this man knew everything. Tohma in turn closed his eyes and rose from his seated position. "I will return shortly." He stated leaving the room. The second the door had closed it opened the avenue for Suguru's mind to be unleashed, every thought was a negative thought. Where had Tohma gone, what would happen to him, why, who, where. Questions raced a thousand kilometres an hour, the answers starting off as bad and quickly spiralled into depressingly awful._

_The door reopened sometime later, brown eyes looked at it with a doe-like expression, he was bracing himself for the worst. He had expected to see his cousin enter when instead a much taller, much leaner male had entered. The tension in the air went from relatively tense to overly thick venturing to the point where the younger felt he couldnt breathe properly._

_"Tohma said you had something to tell me." The blonde uttered calmly. Suguru looked at him, well it was now or never. One deep breath later and all was to be revealed. Every word just flowed into the next, one after the other. He couldn't stop them, the words just kept on coming. _

_"I really like you K, and you're just, you have a kid and you're married and I can't have you. I mean seriously like you, love you even, your hair, eyes, accent all of it just, you know? wonderful..." Suguru had been cut short by supple lips kissing his soft ones. It took a very long moment for his sluggish senses to actually alert him to being kissed, and a moment longer to register who by. "K..." He whispered breathlessly._

_"Why didnt you tell me sooner?" K asked with a smile stroking the keyboardists hair. The younger was left speechless. What could he say? All of his dreams, fantasies and wishes were coming true, K leaned in for another kiss earning his name to be whispered breathlessly yet again. "Call me Claude..."_

_---_

Blue eyes opened to stare into chocolate brown. A smile erupted on the young teens face as those nnow familiar lips connected with his. kissing him deeply. The green haired keyboardist wrapped his arms around the taller man as he felt himself being moved to lay completely on his back.

Suguru's thoughts melted away into a resevoir of pure bliss with each article of clothing that he was stripped of. He knew, even as his body suddered underneath the pleasureable advances of gun-skilled hands. He knew that this was happiness, and above all he knew that this was worth getting hit by a car for, and more.

After all: This was love.

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**A/N:** As I said, possibility for the next chapter. Reviews that are even three words long are more welcome than none. Thanks for reading.

-Aki-


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